Day 283 : I'm Moving On

Well, for all the I told you so's and everything else I think most who read this will smile. I went home for lunch yesterday and found that he had been taking pictures of his cock with my digital camera. He said they were for me but not one did he send before he deleated them off his computer. We have not talked in two days. I have bluntly told him that I want him out of my life. No longer will I proide anything for him. He is jobless, useless, untrustworthy and a liar.

I've decided to move on. I have plans for halloween without him. I have a costume. The bills are paid because of me and I couldn't be happier!

It was so nice to sleep alone for the past two nights. I wouldn't trade it for anything in the world. Singledom...... HERE I COME!!!!!

Day 269 : Officially Empty

My heart has ached for the past year to feel fulfilled. I now feel more alone than ever. I wander the halls of the house wondering what love is in them and feel nothing. I reach out to nobody that I can hold close and cry on their shoulder. I feel like I'm grasping at straws to find the courage to get up from bed from day to day.

I must find more. I know that there is someone out there that will love me and take care of me with a gentle hand. I know that there must be someone out there that is as lonely as I am and has a lust for life. I know that I was not meant to be alone.

Please find me and take me away from all of this. Please show me that there is more in this world than hatred, pitty, obsesivness, vanity and judgement. Show me that you know where the greater parts of life are lying. Do not give up on me when the chips are down and do not take my name in vain. Show me your hurt and help me to help you through and I will do the same.

Bring me a smile to brighten my day and bring me a gentle hand to hold.

Day 262 : My Horoscope for the weekend

Aquarius
1/20 – 2/18
Overview
Someone in your life says they're making big changes, but are they really? You haven't really seen any results yet and your patience might be wearing thin. There's nothing wrong with asking them about their progress, and today is the day to do it. They might appreciate your prodding -- it's the sign that you are a very good friend. You should encourage them to make the choices that aren't so easy -- let them know that you will be there to support them, however long it takes.

So this is the horoscope for tomorrow. Makes me think about nothing but his stupid game which he still plays. But he has cut back to the gaming to a almost tolerable level. But I think that it is so crappy that like a crackhead everytime he has 1 free moment he runs to get his fix. His computer was down for 5 days and it made it the most miserable 5 days ever. Finally he had to wipe windows out and reinstall everything and that is no easy feat since we don't have all the discs.

My personal laptops are both down and neither works and I find that I speand quite considerably less time on the interenet as I have before. So I can't say that I'm miserable right now but I can say that I still wish that the game was gone.